Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.
What Do I Look Like?
A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband just looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like, Mr.Plumber?” A few days went by, and he comes home from work and again his wife asks for a favor, "Honey, the car won't start, I think that it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" "What do I look like, Mr.Goodwrench?" was his response. Another couple of weeks go by, and it's raining pretty hard. His wife then finds a leak in the roof. She pleads with him as he's walking through the door. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He just looked at her and said "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" and sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV. One weekend the husband woke up and it was pouring pretty hard, but the leak on the roof was gone! Speaking of leaks, he also went to take a shower, and he found that the one pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either. His wife was coming home just then, and as she walked through the door, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks, and the car's running?" She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I was picking up the mail, and I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything." "Wow, did he charge us anything?" asked the husband. "No, he just said that he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him" she said. "Cool. What kind of cake did you make?" asked the husband. "Cake? What the hell do you think I look like, Betty Crocker?
6:02 PM
Welcome!
It's Me
LinGlInG
Aka sotong, verver,cum gong, pigsy,moku Looking at this world at 167cm
Scorpio,22,15 Nov 1986
East view primary|Loyang primary|Loyang secondary|Siglap secondary|Nanyang Polytechnic|Singapore institute of management|Singapore accountancy acadamy(ACCA).
#CPA
#Paint ball shooting
#Water skiing
#neat room
#Nice tummy
#Driving licence
#to be able to cook
#shu eumera brushes for eyes, cheek, lips and brush cleaner
#alarm clock
#bedsheet
# I Mac
#my own well design house
#Bikenstock
#wireless home phone
#full toilet set @ taka
#clothes bin
